Keeping the Mood: Factors that Affect Sex Drive
Introduction
You're not in the mood tonight? How about last night
or last week? Last month? A lack of interest in sex
is not a problem if you and your partner agree on how
much sex is enough—and as long as you are comfortable
with your level of desire. But a waning sex drive can
be a problem if one partner wants sex more often than
the other or if it is causing you concern.
If you or your partner is experiencing a lack of
sexual desire—or low libido—you are not alone. Experts
estimate that between 11 and 48 percent of American
adults complain of this problem. And although a depressed
libido can affect both men and women, women account
for 7 out of 10 people who seek help for it.
Pinpointing a Cause
A number of factors can contribute to low sex drive.
Oftentimes one or more of the following conditions plays
a role:
- relationship problems
- sexual difficulties
- medical conditions
- prescription medications and other drugs
- aging
- stress
Relationship Problems
Sexual desire grows out of a healthy relationship.
Most often, depressed sexual desire can be traced to
difficulties in a relationship. People who feel angry
at each other typically shy away from closeness.
To find out whether an interpersonal problem is the
root of low libido, it's important to consider both
the history of the relationship and the timing of the
problem. Also, is libido low in general or only with
this particular partner?
Counseling can help revive a troubled relationship
and rekindle sexual feelings. Communication is key to
this process as couples learn to talk openly and honestly
about sexual needs and desires.
Couples who enjoy a strong relationship can usually
work out differences in sexual desire. They also will
be motivated to seek solutions for other problems that
may be causing desire to wane.
Sexual Difficulties
A decreased interest in sex may stem from one or
both partners considering the act to be uncomfortable
or difficult. For men, premature ejaculation or impotence
understandably lessens sex drive. And problems such
as these are not uncommon. In fact, an estimated 10
to 20 million American men suffer from impotence.
Because many men mistakenly believe that every sexual
encounter must lead to intercourse and ejaculation,
a temporary failure can become a major contributor to
sexual avoidance. Fortunately, effective medical treatments
currently exist for the most common cause of impotence:
problems in the blood supply to the penis. In addition,
therapy that includes both partners can treat premature
ejaculation.
Women, too, may experience sexual difficulties, including
an inability to become aroused or to achieve orgasm,
uncomfortable intercourse, or vaginal spasm. At some
time in their lives, 70 percent of all women experience
problems reaching orgasm during intercourse.
Once medical causes have been treated or ruled out,
counseling can help address psychological issues that
may be contributing to decreased desire.
Medical Conditions
A number of medical conditions can reduce libido,
often by making sex painful or difficult. Conditions
that can affect sexual function and desire include arthritis,
cancer, depression, diabetes, gynecological conditions,
heart disease, kidney disease, neurological problems
and thyroid disease.
For many of these conditions, medical treatment can
jump-start sex drive or reduce the discomfort that hampers
it. For example, sexual problems brought on by thyroid
disease disappear with adequate medication. In the case
of painful sex due to arthritis, medical experts advise
applying heat to affected joints beforehand to promote
comfort during sex.
Prescription Medications and Other Drugs
Many of the most commonly prescribed medications
can reduce a person's sex drive. The worst offenders
are blood pressure medications and drugs prescribed
for psychiatric conditions—antidepressants, in particular,
but also tranquilizers and anti-psychotic drugs.
Some over-the-counter medications, such as antihistamines
and medications for ulcers and motion sickness, can
contribute to a lacking libido as well. Alcohol, tobacco
and illegal drugs may also inhibit sexual desire and
performance.
To determine whether medications are the cause of
flagging sexual desire, consider whether you have started
taking any new drugs or have changed the dosage of a
drug you've been taking. Did libido begin declining
after this change? If a particular drug seems to be
the culprit, it may be possible to switch to an alternative.
Be sure to review the risks and benefits with your doctor
before stopping or changing medications.
Aging
It is a common misconception that sex is only for
the young. In truth, sex still matters—a great deal,
in fact—to older adults. In a recent study, more than
four out of five men between the ages of 50 and 80 reported
that sex remained an important part of their life. For
many women, sexual desire may actually increase during
and after menopause.
Unfortunately, as the body grows older, medical conditions
arise that can contribute to sexual problems. For example,
while a woman's sex drive may increase with menopause,
she may at the same time experience a decrease in vaginal
blood flow, lubrication and elasticity. These symptoms
can make sexual relations uncomfortable—even painful.
For men, the likelihood of disorders like impotency
and premature ejaculation increases with age. Older
adults also are more likely to be taking medications
that may inhibit sexual performance.
Happily, treatments exist for most sexual problems
that are associated with aging. For menopausal women,
for example, physicians often prescribe a regimen of
exercises to keep vaginal muscles toned. To fight vaginal
dryness, women can try artificial lubrication, vaginal
estrogen cream or hormone replacement therapy. Recent
research suggests that tiny doses of testosterone (a
male sex hormone) may revive sexual desire in some women,
particularly those whose ovaries have been removed surgically.
Stress
Stress affects all facets of life, including what
takes place in the bedroom. Overwork, money worries,
unemployment and fatigue—just to name a few—can easily
drive a person's libido underground.
Some life changes are major stress producers. Immediately
following the birth of a child, for example, new mothers
typically experience a decline in sexual desire. This
is due to a combination of factors, including hormonal
shifts, fatigue and the constant attention a newborn
baby demands. In addition, breastfeeding can cause a
decrease in vaginal lubrication, resulting in uncomfortable,
if not painful, sex. Fortunately, over-the-counter vaginal
lubricants can solve this problem quickly and easily.
What can you do if stress is affecting your sex drive?
Medical experts say that whatever benefits your health
in general also boosts your sex life. So consider stress
reduction a recipe for good sex, as well as good health.
Focus on maintaining a positive attitude, maintaining
a healthy diet and exercising regularly.
Getting Help
Because so many sexual problems have medical causes,
your search for help should begin with a visit to your
doctor. If a medical condition is not at the root of
your problem, your physician may refer you to community
resources or professional counseling.
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