A Good Night's Sleep for Young Children ...and Parents

About 20 to 43% of babies and young children have trouble getting a good night's sleep. If your child is one of them, you know the frustration. Besides leaving you exhausted, restless nights can affect how your child acts and feels during the day. If you child is older, it could even affect how well she does in school. As a parent, you can help your child sleep better. Here are the basics.

Bedtime basics for babies

Sleep is important for babies. Experts say that the infants’ brains develop during sleep, helping little ones gain new abilities.

Newborns typically sleep for one to two hours at a stretch, for a total of about 16 to 17 hours a day. But by the time they reach 6 months, babies usually only take two daytime naps and get the rest of their sleep at night.

As babies get older, they need less sleep. By age 12 months, the typical toddler sleeps about 11 hours at night and gets another two and one half to three hours of sleep during two daytime naps.

A Nighttime Routine for Your Baby

It’s normal for newborns to wake up as many as five to eight times a night. You may find that feeding, holding, or rocking your newborn helps her go to sleep after waking up.

But as your baby gets older, you need to teach her how to go back to sleep without you. By the time your baby reaches 6 months or so, she may still wake up during the night. But she should be able to fall back asleep on her own after a few minutes.

Having a routine and knowing what to do if your baby cries at night can help you teach her good sleep habits.

Once your baby is about 6 months old, don’t let her nap more than one or one and one half hours. Longer naps may make her more likely to stay up at night.
Put your baby in the crib as soon as she gets sleepy. If you hold or rock your baby to sleep, she will need you to fall back asleep when she wakes up during the night.
When feeding or changing your baby during the night, try to keep her calm and quiet. This makes it easier for her to go back to sleep.

Bedtime Basics for Young Children

Ideally, toddlers and preschoolers should get between 10 and 12 hours of sleep each night. Until age 4, many children also need one or two daytime naps.

However, many youngsters aren’t reaching this sleep ideal. Many children ages 1 to 5 refuse to go to bed or have trouble going back to sleep after they wake up during the night.

A Nighttime Routine for Your Youngster

Include 20 minutes of calm activities, such as reading or a warm bath, before bedtime. This helps your child mentally prepare for bed.
Keep a set bedtime as well as a set wake-up time and nap time.
Limit TV time and video games before bed. They can make your child too excited to sleep. Also, avoid keeping a TV or computer in your child’s room. Children can easily use these when they think you’re not paying attention.
Keep your child’s bedroom quiet and comfortable. It’s OK if your child finds comfort with a stuffed toy or special blanket in bed. It’s also fine to keep a nightlight on or the door partly open if this makes your child comfortable.
Make sure your child gets enough exercise during the day. Children should get at least 20 to 30 minutes of aerobic activity on most days of the week. Some guidelines suggest that children need an hour of activity on most days of the week.
Try to limit your child’s caffeine intake. Common sources of caffeine include soft drinks and chocolate.

How to Solve Common Sleep Troubles

Can’t get your child to sleep—or to stay asleep? Childhood sleep problems are rarely caused by medical problems. Most of the time, sleep problems can be easily resolved with behavioral changes.

Here are solutions to common sleep problems.

Not Wanting to Go to Bed

It is common for toddlers and preschoolers to say they aren’t sleepy and give you a struggle before bedtime. This is particularly true if older children are in the house.

Your child also may not be able to sleep because she may worry about being separated from you at bedtime. Or she may stress over what happened during the day or about things on TV. You can help your child relax by giving her extra attention and talking about her feelings before bedtime.

Research also shows that keeping a good bedtime routine can help.

Crying at Night

As a parent, it’s normal to want to go to your child when he is crying. But remember, when you give your crying baby or child too much attention, you are basically rewarding him for crying.

Once a child turns 6 months old, he should be able to fall back asleep on his own when he wakes up at night. However, if your child is used to having you near him when he falls asleep, he may start crying when you’re not there. To break this crying habit, you’ll need to gradually increase the amount of time you wait to go to your crying child.

On the first night you try this, wait up to two minutes before going to your crying child. When you do, briefly reassure him but don’t pick him up or turn on the light. If you are worried that your child may be sick or wet, quickly check. If necessary, change the baby’s diaper in the crib. Then leave.

If the crying continues, wait another two minutes and go to your child. Keep up this routine until your child falls asleep.

On following nights, gradually increase the amount of time you wait to respond to your child until you’re waiting five minutes. Over time, your child will stop crying at night.

For this approach to be successful, parents must be consistent.

Won’t Sleep Alone

Your child may have learned to fall asleep in your bed or by having you lie down next to her. So when your child wakes up, she cannot go back to sleep because you aren’t there.

Some parents don’t mind having their child sleep in their bed. However, if the situation is causing lost sleep or other difficulties, you will need to train your child to sleep on her own.

To do this, you’ll need to avoid lying down next to your child or letting your child sleep in your bed. You might do this gradually. For instance, the first night you might only sit next to her on her bed until she falls asleep. A few nights later you might lie on her floor but not in her bed. Eventually, you should put her to sleep and leave the room.

If she gets up at night and tries to join you in bed, take her back to her bed. Be sure to offer a comforting word, but be firm.

Fear of the Dark

Fear of the dark is normal in young children, and most children outgrow their fears. Here’s how to help your child:

Encourage her to talk about why she is afraid. For instance, is she afraid of monsters? Reassure her that her fears are unwarranted.
Teach her how to relax if she feels scared. Show her how to breathe slowly and imagine something relaxing, such as a favorite pet.
Install a dimmer switch on the bedroom light. Every few days, turn the light down lower until she feels safe in the dark. If it helps your child, use a nightlight.
During the daytime, don’t send your child to her room as a punishment. Otherwise, she may associate the bedroom with a bad feeling.

Nightmares

Scary dreams usually happen between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m., when your child is in rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. Common nightmares involve being attacked, falling, or dying.

One out of four children has nightmares more than once a week. Nightmares may be more likely if your child is under stress or has suffered a frightening event, such as the death of a loved one.

After having a nightmare, your child will wake up and probably have trouble going back to sleep. To help calm your child:

Let him know that you won’t let anything harm him.
Encourage him to tell you about the dream.
Keep the bedroom light on for a short time if it helps.
Once your child is calm, encourage him to go back to sleep.

If your child continues to have frequent nightmares when he gets older, talk to your child’s doctor. Therapy is usually successful at resolving these nighttime disturbances.

Night Terrors

Night terrors are different from nightmares. They are a kind of parasomnia, or partial arousal from non-REM sleep.

During a night terror, your child may scream and act agitated. His eyes may be open and his pupils may be dilated. He may sweat and breathe fast. Even though your child appears awake, he is still partly asleep and may not recognize you. In the morning, your child probably won’t remember it at all.

Night terrors usually happen between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. They are most common in youngsters ages 4 to 12 and tend to run in families. They usually go away as children get older.

Your child may be more likely to have one if he is very tired or falls asleep tense, worried, or emotional. The same is true for sleepwalking.

To help prevent night terrors, make sure your child gets enough sleep. To relieve any anxiety your child is feeling, create a relaxing bedtime routine. Also, spend time before bed talking about positive events or reading an upbeat story.

When a night terror occurs, try to stay calm and try not to wake your child. However, make sure he doesn’t get hurt if he is moving around a lot. Your child will probably fall asleep again after a few minutes.

If night terrors only occur occasionally, there’s usually no reason to seek treatment. However, if they occur every night or several times a night, talk to your child’s doctor. You should do the same if you think night terrors are affecting your child’s behavior during the day.

Sleepwalking

Like night terrors, sleepwalking is a kind of parasomnia that often runs in families. During sleepwalking, part of the brain is awake and part is asleep.

It usually happens one to three hours after falling asleep. Your child may get out of bed and walk around. He will probably appear confused and clumsy. It’s doubtful he’ll hear or answer your questions.

Sleepwalking is more likely to happen if your child is overtired or anxious at bedtime. So, you may be able to prevent some episodes by making sure your child gets enough sleep and helping your child relax before bedtime.

Most children outgrow sleepwalking. Until then, parents can use the following tactics to protect young sleepwalkers:

Don’t try to wake your sleepwalking child. Just take him back to bed.
Put bells on your child’s door so you know if your child is up during the night.
Make sure your child doesn’t get hurt. For instance, block stairways with toddler gates and lock outside doors.

Most children who sleepwalk only do so occasionally. If your child starts having episodes every night or several times a night, talk to your child’s doctor. You should do the same if you think your child’s sleepwalking is affecting his daytime behavior.

Bed-wetting

Bed-wetting is very common in preschoolers, especially boys. It happens when your child’s bladder is not fully developed or when your child has trouble sensing what a full bladder feels like.

Stress also may add to the problem. For instance, family changes, such as a new baby in the house, can cause a toddler to start wetting the bed.

Experts advise the following strategies for handling bed-wetting:

If your child wets the bed, do not blame or punish him. He cannot help it.
Have your child use the toilet before bedtime. Also, avoid giving him lots of liquids at night.
Cover the child’s mattress with a plastic or rubber cover.
If your child is older, gently ask him to help you change the sheets after a bedwetting episode. This can help teach the child responsibility.

Most children outgrow bed-wetting. If your school-age child is wetting the bed on a frequent basis, you might want to talk to your pediatrician. Special devices and medicines are available that can help children get over bed-wetting.