Is There a Baby in Your Future?
Six Emotional Challenges of Pregnancy
Whether you rejoice at the thought of pregnancy or
are unsure of your feelings, pregnancy presents a significant
emotional challenge.
No one questions the physical developments of pregnancy
or the practical effects it has on your life. But the
psychological implications of pregnancy are often overlooked,
and a woman's wide range of feelings may be discounted
as hormonal "mood swings."
Hormonal fluctuations of the first trimester certainly
may contribute to some mood sensitivity. Beyond hormones,
however, lies reality and the infinite variety of pressures
and conflicts women face in their daily lives.
Your feelings about pregnancy, motherhood, and the
people around you—including your mate—are bound to fluctuate
during the course of nine months. There is a potential
for unequaled joy in bringing this new life into your
life. However, conflicts also may be a natural part
of emotional growth. Recognize them as stepping stones
in the pregnancy transition, and focus your energy on
where you want to go.
Some issues that may arise in the early months of
pregnancy and that may remain concerns throughout pregnancy
and childbirth include the following:
Body Image, Sense of Control, Shifting Relationships,
Mothering Expectations, Career Plans or Goals, and The
Marriage Relationship.
Body Image
Some women revel in the feel of pregnancy, and the
look of it, too. Others feel unattractive and believe
others see them that way. Often the negative body image
has to do with "feeling fat" in a culture that frowns
on overweight women.
Simply put, there isn't any way to avoid developing
a pregnant shape during pregnancy without placing your
baby at a serious health risk. So, the most practical—and
healthful—response is to adopt a more favorable view
of the pregnant body. Recognize the changes as healthy
signs of nature at its most impressive—creating a new
life! Ask for a little moral support and encouragement
from your mate and your friends. If you feel depressed
or angry about your body, discuss your feelings with
your physician or a professional counselor.
Sense of Control
A woman may feel that with pregnancy she has lost
control of her body, and, in a larger sense, her life.
Approaching childbirth, she may fear "losing control"
of the labor process. Preparation—whether for childbirth
or in more practical matters at work or home—can help
restore feelings of competence and confidence in her
ability to manage whatever comes her way.
Shifting Relationships
Under the strain of pregnancy adjustments, the emotional
fabric of relationships at home or work may seem to
wear thin. The issues typically change as pregnancy
progresses, but successful ways of easing the stress
often begin with open and nonjudgmental discussion.
Professional counseling may be helpful in identifying
new ways of responding to conflict in relationships.
Mothering Expectations
Many women approach motherhood—or mothering a larger
family—with enough confidence and good humor to ward
off serious concerns about their mothering ability.
However, depending on her own view of motherhood and
what it should be, a woman may develop unrealistic expectations
of herself, then worry about her ability to live up
to them. Try to give yourself the freedom and emotional
room to develop your own mothering style—and you can't
start that until the baby arrives!
Career Plans or Goals
This can be one of the most difficult issues to sort
out during pregnancy, and it may be a continuing source
of inner conflict or family friction. Some women have
no choice but to return to work after the baby is born.
Others have a choice, but find the decision difficult.
If your situation allows flexibility, put off making
a firm decision until you have spent time at home with
your baby.
The Marriage Relationship
Pregnancy is sometimes referred to as a "crisis"
point in marriage due to the unusual amount of stress
placed on the partners as individuals and on their emotional
partnership. A troubled marriage is especially vulnerable
to stress, but even the strongest marriage benefits
from some special attention.
As you progress through pregnancy and into parenting,
encourage your mate to express his feelings and try
to help him understand yours. Especially during the
early months of pregnancy, a new father may worry about
his ability to support the family, or about the effects
of the pregnancy on the marriage. Because the physical
aspects of pregnancy at this point are all yours, he
may have a difficult time feeling involved in the pregnancy.
Encourage him to talk to other fathers and to take
an active role in the pregnancy, perhaps by accompanying
you to a prenatal checkup to meet and talk with your
doctor. Adapt your pregnancy fitness goals to reflect
a concern for fatherly fitness, and suggest ways he
can involve himself with your joint physical well-being—massage,
cooking healthful meals, or accompanying you on evening
walks.
Remember, too, that he may not come across pregnancy
information as readily as you do. You can help build
a feeling of partnership by sharing helpful articles
or insights, encouraging his questions, and rewarding
his questions with honest, thoughtful answers.
As with any relationship issues, if you and your
mate reach a troublesome impasse, professional counseling
may be highly effective in helping you progress together
to a more satisfying common ground.
Plotting Your Pregnancy . . .
Navigating your way through relationship changes
may prove to be one of the biggest challenges of the
pregnancy experience. Pregnancy transforms a woman's
body temporarily, but it changes her life forever. Pregnancy
is much more than a "health condition." It is a life
transition—a bridge from one period of your life to
another. The more you understand about what's happening
within your body and in your relationships with others,
the more likely you'll be able to enjoy this time and
make a successful transition to your new life!
Excerpted from A Woman's Own Guide to Pregnancy and
Childbirth, Women's Healthcare Press.
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